1. Law of Mechanical
Repair- After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to use the bathroom.
2. Law
of Gravity - Any
tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of
Probability - The
probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law
of Random Numbers - If
you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5. Variation
Law - If you
change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law
of the Bath - When
the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law
of Close Encounters - The
probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law
of the Result - When
you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!! (Applies especially to auto mechanics.)
9. Law
of Biomechanics- The
severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10. Law
of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At
any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The
folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly
folk
11. The
Coffee Law - As
soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Murphy's
Law of Lockers - If
there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law
of Physical Surfaces - The
chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14. Law
of Logical Argument - Anything
is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law
of Physical Appearance - If
the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16. Law
of Public Speaking -- A
CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET! 🤔 💕
17. Law
of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As
soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18. 'Doctors'
Law - If
you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But, don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.